D2CA.ORG - Dan's 20th Century Abandonware - Microsoft® Bob™ Exhibit

Microsoft Bob 1.0a has 17 "Personal Guides" -- the "Friends of Bob" -- to help you settle in and become comfortable in the "Bob Home." These characters bring Microsoft Bob to life with animation, voices and sound effects.

Each "friend" has a unique personality. Some of them are boisterous and downright obnoxious. Others are happily enthusiastic. Others still are laid back until you need something. And a few are quiet all the time.

Microsoft Bob also has two "specialists" -- "Lexi," who takes charge of Bob Checkbook, and "Hank" who assists you in the GeoSafari educational program.

The "Friends of Bob" create the "social" atmosphere of Microsoft Bob's "social interface." They are an entertaining way to offer help and allow you to change certain configuration options. This approach to software assistance is far less intimidating to people who are new to computers and not familiar with the traditional Windows help files and the "Cue Cards" Microsoft offered in some of their other Windows 3.1x application software programs of the day.

Featured below are 18 screen shots of all of the "Friends of Bob" and two pictures of the "specialists" in Microsoft Bob 1.0a.

Changing your personal guide.
"Rover" is not the only "friend of Bob." Microsoft Bob has many "friends" that you are free to "meet" anytime.

To change your "Personal Guide," click Other options, Change something, and Your personal guide. You will then get the "prompt" shown in the screen shot above.

"Most of them would just love to meet you!"? That's an interesting way to introduce "friends."

Baudelaire
If you're the quiet type that don't like people poking and prodding you to do something every ten seconds, then Baudelaire is the "guide" for you. Except for the occasional, barely audible, growl, this gargoyle is completely silent. Giving you silent balloon "prompts," this guide doesn't mess around. He's pertinent with information and lets you get to your work without all the ballyhoo. And if you take a break, he will patiently wait for the next time you need him, silently. Occasionally, he'll blink his eyes but that's the extent of his boisterousness.

If you click on Baudelaire, birds will take flight and fly around Baudelaire's head with a fluttering sound and then quickly exit stage-right. Sometimes one bird will take flight, sometimes three. Sometimes a balloon prompt will appear saying, "Excuse me," or "Pardon."

Blythe
This little firefly can be the "light" of your life. When she enters the room, she says, "Hi!" or "How are you doing?" which is all very nice and polite. For the most part, "Blythe" is quiet and patient, always smiling, fluttering her wings silently every now and then, looking to and fro, and if you pause for a while, she will play "yo-yo" with a ball of light, stop, and hold it in front of her -- and sometimes it gets a Bob face on it! Blythe has a sardonic side as well. Sometimes when an option "balloon" is opened, instead of a standard cancel button, it will say "Bag it," or such. If you make a mistake, Blythe will say, "Oi," or "Oh boy" or flutter her wings with a soft sound.

If you click on Blythe, she will turn into a glowing ball of light, say, "Ow!" or "Heyyyy!" Sometimes, a "balloon" will pop up saying, "Oi! Back off!" or "Hey you! Watch it!" or "Yo! Don' bother me, sweetheart." (a typo in Microsoft Bob of the word "Don't") or "Get outta here!" or "Whad'ya think I am, some kind of a stool pigeon?"

Chaos
While not quite as annoying as Rover, "Chaos" is the feline counterpart of "Rover" in hyperness. When you pause between tasks, Chaos takes turns between purring, meowing, and scratching the platform she stands on. As with Rover, if you leave Bob idle long enough, Chaos will lie down and go to sleep. During Chaos's slumber, she will sometimes turn and put all fours into the air. Other times "Ruby," a green parrot "friend of Bob" mentioned later, will stick her head out from the right side of the screen and yell, "AIR RAID!!!" It doesn't even wake Chaos up.

When you click on Chaos, she will sometimes, meow and jump into the air, meow and lick her left paw, jump into the air with the sound of bells jingling, and display balloon messages saying, "Allo, (name), do you want to play?" "Oh, ecoutez! C'est pas rigolo, non?" "Arretez! C'est bein assez!"

Somebody, please translate!

Chaz
If you want to add a little spice to your session, pick "Chaz" as your "guide." This guy's a gas, if you know what I mean. He makes a cool entry, walking in with his "horn" in a blue case, sets down the case, opens it, and then attaches his horn to his face. If you make a mistake in a program, Chaz will sound a sour note, pull on his horn and then it snaps back and slaps him in the face, or says, "Oh man!" If you let Bob sit idle, Chaz will exit stage-right and come back with his blue case, set it down, lean against the front of it, take the horn off his face, pull out a cloth, and proceed to clean his horn. While he's cleaning, a hand reaches out of the right side of the screen and swipes Chaz's horn case! Chaz says, "Oh man!" and chases off after the thief. A moment later he returns with his case.

If you click on Chaz he will play a few jazzy notes and they will "pop" or drop to the floor or only one flat note will appear. Sometimes a text balloon will open saying, "Absolutely," "Positively," or "Don't dent my horn."

The Dot
Microsoft Bob is the birthplace of "The Dot!" If you have used Microsoft Office 97 or later, you will recognize this "Personal Guide." The Dot is one of only two "Friends of Bob" to be included in Microsoft Office 97 and later.

But back to The Dot in Microsoft Bob. The Dot makes a hyperspeed, bouncing entrance into your Bob session, bouncing here and there then landing and saying "Hi, how're we doing?" or just "Hi!" in its unique synthesized voice. Hyper as it is, after some idle time, The Dot only bounces up and down a time or two but doesn't say anything. If you make a mistake in Microsoft Bob, The Dot will say "Oops!" then melt into a red puddle or sound a synthetic note and expand and contract sideways.

If you click on The Dot, its "nose" glows red in an expanding circle, or it "pops" and comes racing back from stage-right, sometimes saying, "Oops! Just kidding." The Dot also shows some text balloons saying things such as, "Fully activated and ready to assist," "Hello. How are you doing?" and "I'm feeling pretty good today."

The Dot is the only "friend of Bob" to be included in all future versions of Microsoft Office up to and including Microsoft Office 2003.

Hopper
Here's one for the nursery-age kids in the family. "Hopper" is a blue stuffed bunny that squeaks like a rubber duck. This "guide" is happy and is eager to help. She bounces into the "room" and waves "hi" at you. If you move to another room, Hopper disappears in a blue swirling "POP!" then reappears in the new room the same way. If you pause for a break, Hopper is quiet and waits patiently for you. Sometimes, Hopper will take out a red lollipop and lick it on occasion. When Hopper isn't looking, the red lollipop will turn into a "BOBpop" for a brief moment. Hopper sees this out of the corner of his eye and hurries to look -- but the "Bobpop" turns back into a red lollipop before Hopper can see the "Bobpop." Hopper looks at you, slightly confused about the ordeal. If you make a mistake, Hopper will squeak at you and cover his mouth as if saying, "Oops!"

If you click Hopper, she squeaks at you and smiles and sometimes a text balloon will pop up saying, "Ooooh! That tickles!" "Hee-hee!" and such.

Java
No, not the programming language created by Sun Microsystems, "Java" is a dinosaur who likes his coffee. With a cup in his hand all the time, wide-eyed Java gulps his go-juice during break time. Now and then, his nose gets stuck in his cup and he has to struggle to free it. It releases with a "pop!" Other times, he'll take a gulp, then say, "Oh dear!" and pull a sock out of his cup! Or he will kick his cup into the air, and as it twirls, it becomes a spinning Bob for a moment then changes back to a twirling coffee cup. Sometimes, "Ruby," a green parrot "guide" featured later, will fly in and circle Java's head. Java puts out his left arm and Ruby lands on it, whistles and squawks, then flies away. If you make a mistake, Java will say, "Oh!" "No!" or "Oh...no!" and throw his cup away with a "clank!" Then he pulls out another one from behind himself.

If you click on Java, he will giggle, say, "I like that!" or take a couple of gulps and shoot his cup away with his nose.

Lucy
Bursting with energy, able to swing from "room" to room with a speed matched only by a computer, "Lucy" is an alert and cheerful "Personal Guide." During your "non-Bob" idle time, Lucy sits quietly -- smiling all the while. She will occasionally wiggle her ears and scratch her back (barely audible), pull on her lower lip, causing her mouth to bounce up and down a couple of times, and look around for the most part. If you make a mistake, Lucy will utter a sigh of dismay or a soft moan.

When you click on Lucy she will reach behind herself, pull out a banana, squeeze the banana causing it to shoot out of the peel into the air, and then eat it. Or she will put her hands over her eyes in a "see no evil" gesture, or over her ears in a "hear no evil" pose, or over her mouth in a "say no evil" stance.

Orby
With a dash of contemporary music as an intro (and his exit, too), "Orby" comes spinning onto your screen. Looking more like a moldy robin egg than a planet, Orby gets the job done "guiding" you through your session. When there's an intermission in your routine, Orby will wait for you -- quiet as the vacuum of space.

Sometimes he will "quake" for a moment, give you a big smile, a small yellow "satellite" will "orbit" Orby 'round and 'round (presumably a Bob with his back to you because, like the moon, the face always faces the planet), juggle 3 small Bobs then drop them, and discover his girlfriend loves him ("she loves me, she loves me not..."). If you make a mistake, Orby slaps his right "hand" over his "eye" in dismay.

When you click on Orby, he either spins around or jumps up and clicks his "heels."

Rover
"Rover" is the default "Personal Guide" to Microsoft Bob. He is also the only one who greets you at the "front door" when starting Microsoft Bob and bids you farewell when you exit Microsoft Bob. You could say that Rover is Microsoft Bob's "mascot."

Rover is best suited for younger children and dog lovers because his hyper personality constantly keeps you entertained.

If you make a mistake in Microsoft Bob, Rover will whine at you and give you a help "prompt." If you click on Rover, he will scratch himself which causes his collar to make a "tinkling" sound, rolls over and pants, and shows balloon texts of "Tee-hee! You got me, Sport!" "Yowza! You clicked on me!" "Hey! That tickles, Camper. Do it again!" and "Yikes! Watch where you're clicking!"

Your first impression of Rover after just five minutes of using Microsoft Bob could leave you with the insatiable desire to have him "fixed," given up for adoption, or put to sleep. Unless you're a dog lover, there's only one way to run Microsoft Bob with "Rover" as your "guide" without being driven mad -- turn Microsoft Bob's sound down all the way.

Ruby
When she's not trying to awaken Chaos or not hanging out with Java, "Ruby" takes center stage. A stick comes out for her perch and she flies in shouting, "AIR RAID!" When you're not using Bob and just bird watching, Ruby will chew on her perch, saying some garbled words, raise her wings (and lose a few feathers), give a squawky laugh, wait for a floating Bob to come "bobbing" along and snatch it up with her beak -- then toss it aside, put bright red lipstick on her beak and say "Pretty bird," "Swab the deck!" or "Man overboard," squawk loudly once in a while, whistle, then finally get tired and go to sleep. If you make a mistake in Bob, Ruby konks herself in the side of the head with a big blue bottle and gives a squawky laugh.

If you click on Ruby, she will fall off her perch, raise her wings and jump, and sometimes a text balloon appears with sayings such as, "How does she head? How does she head? Steady! Steady! Squawk!"

Ruby makes more guest appearances with other "Personal Guides" than any other "friend of Bob."

Scuzz
Street-wise "Scuzz" knows where it's at when it comes to Bob, dude. He's been around the block -- like, mostly in the alley. When you're not hangin' with Bob, Scuzz will bounce his basketball, loop his basketball behind his back, scratch his head and ears with his tail, scratch his side with his hand, move his belly up and down (?!?), tie his tail in a knot, dig through a big, green garbage can -- pulling Chaos out of it, over and over. Sometimes Chaos willl give a frightened meow as Scuzz quickly tosses the cat aside. Other times, Scuzz will pull a box of rat poison out of the garbage and eat some of it. This causes him to freak out, having repeated spaz attacks. If you make a mistake in Bob, Scuzz bounces his basketball and it hits him in the nose, giving him two black eyes.

When you click on Scuzz he spazzes out, turning all kinds of contorted shapes and gives off an electrical "zap" sound. This dude has an attitude, saying such things in text balloons as, "What's up, man? Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" "Gimme a break, man. Don't you have something better to do?" and "Don't be bogus, man. Just because I'm, like, a cartoon."

When Scuzz first enters the "room," he says, "Lucky you chose me. Those other guides are, like, total losers." Takes one to know one, I guess.

Shelly
This turtle is a happy camper, complete with camping hat, walking stick and backpack. She can "guide" you through the twists and turns of Bob country. When you are resting beside the trail, "Shelly" is quiet and calm, never making a sound. At times, a butterfly or two will fly up to Shelly and land on her, then flutter away. Other times, a tiny bug will fly in and land on her walking stick. She pulls out a magnifying glass to get a better look, sometimes showing one of her eyes largely magnified, then showing a magnified view of the bug -- who waves at you. If you make a mistake in Bob, Shelly looks at you with a puzzled frown for a moment, then smiles again. If you select to delete something, she says, "Are you sure?"

When you click on Shelly, she will fall backwards on her shell and can't get up. When you click again she will say, "Hey!" "Ahem!" or "Hmm!" in a voice similar to Blythe's. When you're done with Bob, she says, "Bye!"

Will
Not William Tell nor Will Riker -- this is the one and only William Shakespeare. You know? "To be, or not to be?" He greets you by saying, "Greetings, my excellent friend," or "What's thy pleasure?" Should you take a moment to muse upon Will's infamous literature, he will take up his feather pen from the ink bottle and begin to compose yet another "virtual" literate marvel. Scribing silently, Will will take a moment to look around, then resume his composition. If you make a mistake in Bob, Will will give you a look of consternation or close his eyes and bow his head.

If you click on Will, he will blink his eyes, raise and lower his eyebrows, write briefly with his feather pen, frown and say, "How now," or make a "move aside" motion with his hand. When you exit Bob, Will says, "Farewell until I meet thee next," or "And so, farewell."

Will was the only other "friend of Bob" to become an "assistant" in Microsoft Office 97. When Microsoft 2000 was released, Will was left out -- dropped in favor of other "assistants."

Sorry, Will.

Digger
This worm with the blue hat will help you inch your way through Microsoft Bob. Bein' a laid-back Irish lad, ol' "Digger's" not too much into the song and dance. He squeaks his way in and says, "Hello 'dere." When you're restin' a wee bit from all that Bobbin' about, Digger will play catch with his hat between his tail and his head, say, "Will you look at that!" to a ladybug who comes out to meet him -- then pushes it off the screen with his nose, and finally, lies down to sleep. As Digger sleeps, little Bobs come floating out behind and above Digger and drift off to the right of the screen. If the haggis gets in the fire, Digger plays a flute toon and gets an "Oh boy!" look on his face.

If you click on Digger, he either jumps in the air with a high-pitched "boing" sound, turns to you, closes his eyes, dips his head and his hat flies up with a click" sound, or jumps in the air with a "wobbly" sound. When you're done Bobbin', Digger says, "Bye, bye now" and squeaks off the screen.

Digger is also the "eco-friendly" guide in Microsoft Bob. His, "Dig, it Digger!" diatribes can be somewhat extreme, as demonstrated on the "Bob, The Environmentalist" page.

Speaker
This is the box that never talks. "Speaker" is a contradiction that is right at home in the "Bob home." It never utters a sound, never speaks, even it's little power light doesn't blink. It doesn't even qualify as a "Personal Guide" because it does not offer any guidance and there is nothing "personal" about it.

Only the prompts in Microsoft Bob and Bob's application programs are seen. No special effects, no annoying noises. Nada. It can be a refreshing change from some of the more lively "guides" above. If you make a mistake in Microsoft Bob, it's the same -- you get only the default program prompts.

If you click on Speaker, the only reaction you get is a text balloon that says, "Please don't click on me."

Sorry....

Invisible
"Invisible" is just that. It can't be seen. That's also why it can't be shown....

Invisible also can't be heard or clicked. No bleeping blunders, no text balloons with sarcastic witticisms or biting remarks. Just Bob. All Bob, all the time.

You can see right through invisible, and it is perfectly clear that this is actually Microsoft Bob without a "Personal Guide."

Microsoft Bob's "Specialists"

Lexi
This "specialist" is only used with Bob Checkbook. You cannot change guides when using Bob Checkbook. When starting Bob Checkbook, "Lexi" (short for lexicon) will sometimes say, "Let's see what's up." This guide is quiet most of the time but will mumble the occasional "mmm-hmm..." now and then. If you make a mistake, he will say, "Hmm...seems to be a slight problem" then a prompt will assist you. During other tasks Lexi will pull a piece of paper out of himself and write something on it with his pen (a brief scrawling sound ensues) and hold the paper for a while. Sometimes, he'll even have a cup of coffee with you! Other times, he'll flip a coin then bat it with his pen. If you click on Lexi, he will say, "Hey there!" or "Huh!" or "Where did you spend all that money?" Sometimes, when exiting Bob Checkbook, Lexi will say, "OK!" and bounce away stage-right.

Hank
Like Lexi in Bob Checkbook, "Hank" is the only "specialist" for the GeoSafari program. This is both a demanding and at the same time intelligent guide. Hank uses voice prompts throughout the program, with the occasional elephant roar when a question is answered correctly. If you chose a wrong option, Hank will give you a look of consternation and clear his throat ... "Ah-HEM!". But at least when you take a momentary break, Hank isn't nagging you to get back with it. He'll just stand there, silently, and look around and blink his eyes -- and if he gets too bored he will start dancing, silently, to some unknown tune in his head.

If you click on Hank, he will close his eyes, tuck his head, and give an elephant roar. When exiting GeoSafari, Hank jumps off the platform with a big BOIIIIING!, his hat hovers in the air for a moment, then drops with him.

Are you ready to be friends with the "Friends of Bob?"

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